All Of The While I Never Knew
by abonerforbomer
Summary: Sebastian sees an intriguing man at the coffee shop and cannot help but put his thoughts onto paper.
1. Chapter 1

Sebastian has been coming to this coffee shop ever since he discovered it his sophomore year of college. This is the coffee shop he studied at for the rest of college. The place he wrote his first—admittedly horrible—article that was published in a small, unknown newspaper. His first stop to celebrate his successful interview at the _New York Times_. Most importantly, this was the place he first spotted the gorgeous face he was currently staring at.

At first, Sebastian didn't think much about the man. Being a successful and prominent member of the gay circuit throughout New York City, Sebastian saw pretty faces like this every day. So when he caught himself glancing over just a few more times than strictly acceptable for a complete stranger, he couldn't figure out why.

Maybe it was the way this man held himself. Tall and confident but with a soft, welcoming smile on his face. He wasn't dressed like most of the men in the shop—tight black pants, a grey button up shirt underneath a soft grey sweater, a striped scarf draped around his neck—and that just made him all the more intriguing.

Or maybe it was the way he laughed with the barista, shooting her an exaggerated glare, acting like they were best friends. _Maybe they are_, Sebastian's mind supplied.

Whatever it was that drew Sebastian to this man, he could tell it was impossible to ignore it. He took out his pad of paper from his bag along with a pen, glancing up at the man every few seconds. He watched as the man took his cup, waving at the barista, and sitting down at a table close to the entrance.

_Non-fat latté. With a shot of cinnamon. Non-assuming with a little something extra._ Sebastian's a little surprised to look down and see what he had written but the second he consciously considers it, he can't think of anything else this man could possibly be drinking.

_Jerome? Ryan? Trevor? _Sebastian shakes his head and looks back over to the man, who is slowly drinking his coffee, seeming to be amused by something on his phone. Every name that filters through his mind doesn't seem to fit quite right.

_He loves playing games on his phone. Mostly Draw Something and Words With Friends, just because they have some semblance of intellectual worth. But once in a while, he'll lose himself in a good game of Angry Birds or Temple Run._

Sebastian almost spits out his coffee in a surprised laugh when he sees the man look around with a nearly guilty expression on his face before glancing over at Sebastian—who is coughing and trying to get the coffee out of his lungs—and raising an eyebrow before smiling slightly and looking back down at his phone.

Sebastian can't describe the small fluttering in his stomach at seeing the smile, but he chooses to ignore it and picks up his pen.

_Photographer. Or chef. Something creative. Maybe an interior designer. _Looking up again to study his muse, Sebastian instead sees an empty chair and a clean table. He quickly scans the room and almost misses seeing the man throw his cup away before pushing the door open and leaving the coffee shop.

He frowns and caps his pen, no longer having a reason to use it. He shouldn't be disappointed. He knew his little infatuation was going to end sometime but the fact that he didn't even get the chance to introduce himself made him unreasonably bitter.

Shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts, Sebastian can't help but hope to see the man again.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Sebastian had all but forgotten about the mysteriously intriguing man, his only reminder being the few words written down on a piece of paper, torn out and stuffed into a pocket of his bag. He's not quite sure why he ended up keeping it but can't bring himself to throw it away each time he runs across it. So instead, it sits in his bag, waiting to catch his attention the next time he is searching for a pen or paper clip.

This time, Sebastian doesn't need to be reminded by the little folded up paper. Instead, his reminder comes in the form of the coffee shop door jingling and, looking over the top of his book at the door, the face of the man himself.

The smile currently on the man's face, of course, isn't aimed at Sebastian but at the brown-haired barista whom the man seemed so fond of last time. He walks up to the counter and orders before reaching across and hugging the barista tightly. _I knew they were friends._ Sebastian smiles smugly and leans over to his bag, pulling out his notepad and pen once again.

He can't help the abrupt fluttering somewhere in his stomach from the reappearance of the man, but shrugs the feeling off, chalking it up to him finally having some inspiration. It's not like he's had some kind of block preventing him from writing or anything seriously desperate like that, but he suddenly has the urge to just _write._

Sebastian loves his job, he really does. Considering he only graduated from Columbia 3 years ago, he is extremely lucky and entirely grateful. He knows not everyone can find any kind of work so soon after graduating, not to mention finding a job with the _New York Times_. But writing used to be so much fun. Being able to just sit down and write stories, poems, observations about the world around him—taking inspiration in whatever caught his eye. Now, writing was all about hard facts and breaking news. He missed writing solely because he couldn't help himself.

And he really couldn't help himself.

_**They met here at the coffee shop, this barista always the one to take his order the first few weeks. Soon, she would already be starting his order before he even made it to the counter. They never really contacted each other outside of the coffee shop, but their friendship wasn't the kind that needed that reassurance. **_

The man once again took his coffee, waved distractedly, and took his seat at the same table; this time taking out a stack of papers from the bag he had slung on the back of his chair and shuffling through them.

_**In his free time he likes to write. Short witty poems, long narratives about the value of humanity, and once even one of those raunchy heroine-type novelettes.**_Sebastian snickers to himself, mind flickering to visions of this man—seemingly very put together and proper—writing dirty erotica in the confines of his undoubtedly immaculate apartment. The burst of laughter that comes from Sebastian's mouth prompts him to sheepishly glance around, hoping no one overheard his little outburst.

Schooling his features back into a more neutral expression, he continues jotting down his thoughts.

_**While he may have a horrible taste in writing, his reading preferences are much more acceptable. A bookcase at home full of the common classics—Steinbeck, Hemingway, even Shakespeare—he loves nothing more than curling up on the couch, music playing softly in the background, with a glass of wine and a worn-down book.**_

Smiling at the thought, Sebastian takes a moment to take a drink of his coffee, studying the man across the room from him.

_**He listens to Broadway classics, no doubt. A man with the ability to wear Gucci and Burberry in public and not look like he belongs in a zoo has to enjoy at least **_**whistling**_** some kind of **_**Rent**_** or **_**Sound of Music**_**. But whistling is as far as he'll go because as gorgeous as he is, he has to have at least **_**one **_**real flaw. And his singing is just atrocious. **_

Sebastian rests his head on his hand, elbow resting on the table, unaware of the barista at the counter watching him stare at his rediscovered muse. The other man is still reading through his papers, jotting something down on them every few minutes, chewing absentmindedly on the cap of his pen.

_**While he is very aware of his inability to sing, that doesn't stop him from belting out 80's ballads and Top 40s tunes in the shower. Or at the bar after one too many shots. Or walking down the streets of New York City with headphones in, forgetting about the world around him.**_

A wistful sigh wakes him up from his trance and Sebastian sits up straight in his chair, blushing slightly when he realizes it came from his own mouth. Taking a sip of his coffee, he winces at the taste of the cold liquid.

Pushing back from the table, he strides up to the counter to purchase a new one, looking up at the barista where he's met with a wide grin and big, eager brown eyes.

"Sorry, dollface. You don't exactly have what I'm looking for, if ya know what I mean," Sebastian drawls out, sending the barista a wink. "You _can_ get me another one of those coffees though."

The girl frowns and looks slightly confused. "But I didn't-".

Sebastian holds up a hand, interrupting her. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I get it all the time. But believe me, we both would be sorely disappointed when it came down to it."

She huffs and rolls her eyes, giving him an exasperated look. "Oh, please. Like I didn't know you were gay by the way you were nearly drooling into your coffee a few minutes ago looking at Kurt." She gestures vaguely over to the mystery man—Kurt apparently—who is luckily still engrossed in his work.

"And here I was going to introduce you and everything, but now… Nope. Not happening." She looks at him with a smug grin, raising an eyebrow as if in a challenge.

Sebastian sputters, quickly trying to cover up his obvious interest in the turn of events. "I wasn't dr- I mean, of course he-". Sebastian takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure before starting again. "I was not _drooling_. I was writing, thank you very much. And so what if I like to look at pretty things when I write? God knows I wouldn't look at _you_ so you don't have to worry about that."

"Whatever. Fine then." The barista shrugs her shoulders and starts punching Sebastian order into the cash register. "Considering he's my roommate and my best friend, I do have a pretty good in. But if he's no more than a muse…" She trails off and gives Sebastian a big, fake smile, holding out her hand in front of them. "That'll be four dollars and fifty-four cents, please!"

He groans and runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes briefly before putting on the most sincere smile he is capable of at the moment and reaching his hand forward, briefly shaking her hand. "Let's start over. Hi, I'm Sebastian Smythe. And I'm an idiot."

The barista's smile becomes a bit more genuine at the admission, squeezing his hand slightly before dropping it and raising her own in wave of sorts, glancing quickly over his shoulder. "I'm Rachel. And you, sir, are not only an idiot, but you're also just a moment too late."

With that, Sebastian hears the sound of the bells on the door and turns around to see the mystery man—_Kurt. His name is Kurt_—making his exit.


	3. Chapter 3

The next afternoon, Sebastian is once again sitting at his table of the coffee shop, this time typing furiously at the laptop sitting in front of him. Yesterday's distractions—Kurt's reappearance and his talk with Rachel—put a strain on his impending deadlines and left him way behind schedule for his piece on the latest stock market crisis.

Needless to say, the last thing he needed today was his mind replaying the encounter over and over, making it nearly impossible to keep his attention focused on his work.

* * *

"_I'm Rachel. And you, sir, are not only an idiot, but you're also just a moment too late."_

_With that, Sebastian hears the sound of the bells on the door and turns around to see the mystery man—_Kurt. His name is Kurt_—making his exit._

_Sebastian turns back around to Rachel quickly, giving her a pleading look, stomach dropping in disappointment. "What... Why didn't you tell me he was leaving? I'm gonna go introduce-"._

_Rachel grabs Sebastian's hand, stopping him from turning and running out of the shop, smiling sympathetically. "He looked like he was in a hurry. Just let him be for now."_

"_But if I don't do it now..." Sebastian argues._

"_Then you'll be able to do it next time he comes in," Rachel interrupts as Sebastian sighs, shoulders slumping slightly. "It's not like this is the last time either of you will be in here. I see you in here just about as much as I am. Which is kind of pathetic now that I think about it." Rachel smiles at Sebastian teasingly, taking the money that was laid on the counter._

_Sebastian lets out a small laugh, shaking his head. "Maybe it's about time I found a new coffee place. One with workers that are actually helpful."_

_Rachel rolls her eyes and hands Sebastian his change. "Oh please. If it wasn't for me you'd still be mooning over some random guy like a middle school girl."_

"_Excuse me? First of all, I wasn't _mooning_. I told you, I just appreciate looking at attractive people. And secondly, the only thing I know about him now is that his name is Kurt. He's still 'some random guy'." Sebastian raises his eyebrows expectantly._

"_No, no, no." Rachel laughs and shakes her head, turning to make Sebastian's order. "Nope. I am not giving you anything about Kurt. I don't even know you. For all I know, you could be some kind of creepy stalker. If you want to know more about him, you're gonna have to find out yourself."_

"_So you want me to _become_ a creepy stalker then?" Sebastian chuckles when Rachel gives him a glare. "And besides, you were going to introduce us anyways. So obviously I can't seem like _that _bad of a guy."_

"_Exactly. I was going to _introduce_ you. Not hand out all of his deepest, darkest secrets. No, if you want to get to know him, you're gonna have to go through him." Rachel hands Sebastian his coffee. "Just introduce yourself. He's a nice guy. I'll even let you tell him you know me."_

"_That's a little stretch of the truth, don't ya think?" Sebastian says with an arched eyebrow._

"_Tell you what," Rachel says, looking around the shop which is nearly empty save for a few patrons sitting at tables around the room. "I'm gonna take a little break and you're going to sit with me and tell me your life story." Rachel laughs at Sebastian's skeptical look, pulling off her apron and yelling to someone in the back that she's taking a break. "Okay, fine, no life story. But just sit and talk with me, yeah? And maybe I'll even decide you're still worth introducing to Kurt."_

_Rachel and Sebastian head back to Sebastian's table and settle into a semi-comfortable conversation. Sebastian finds Rachel a bit too enthusiastic and has troubles feigning interest during tales of her recent breakup and numerous auditions but manages to catch bits and pieces of information about Kurt mixed in with her rants._

_Kurt and Rachel have been roommates since they moved to New York together in college. Kurt has a brother who is Rachel's ex. Kurt was initially going to NYADA with Rachel but ended up going in a different direction. Kurt and Rachel have known each other since high school where they were both in the school's glee club._

_None of the information is very exciting or informative. Sebastian really wants to hear something about Kurt, not KurtandRachel. But it's enough to make Sebastian certain that he wants to meet this man. To get to know Kurt. The _real_ Kurt. Not just the fictional Kurt his mind has magically conjured._

_After talking for a while, Rachel excuses herself back to work, telling Sebastian she's glad she got to know him a little better and is convinced now he's not a creep or a stalker. He doesn't comment on the fact that she talked about herself the whole time and still knows nothing about Sebastian but forces a smile and waves as she walks away._

_When Sebastian leaves an hour or so later, Rachel calls out, telling him good luck on the man chasing. Sebastian just laughs, shaking his head and walks out the door._

* * *

Shaken from his thoughts by the insistent buzzing coming from his phone—a reminder set for his upcoming deadline tomorrow—Sebastian groans and looks at the nearly-blank Word document open in front of him. It's going to be another late night, most likely working straight through until morning.

He looks up at the counter, contemplating whether he wants to get another coffee and spend the next few hours here or pack up and head home where he can hopefully get some work done, when he sees Rachel giving him a reproachful glare, gesturing exaggeratedly to the left of the counter.

Sebastian furrows his brow and looks in the direction of her hand and sees Kurt, perched once again at the same table, concentrated on a small stack of papers in front of him.

Seeing Kurt again, Sebastian's heart picks up and he feels that odd fluttering in the bottom of his stomach. He had told himself after last night that the next time he saw Kurt he was going to at least introduce himself. Now that the moment has arrived—and much sooner than he was expecting—he is having second thoughts. What if Kurt wasn't anything like he imagined? What if he wasn't interested in Sebastian? What if he had a boyfriend? What if he wasn't even _gay_? For all Sebastian knew, he could have a wife and kids waiting at home.

He glances back at Rachel who is giving him some kind of shooing motion and pointedly glancing between the two men.

Shaking his head, Sebastian scolds himself. He is _Sebastian Smythe_. Sebastian Smythe doesn't get nervous. Sebastian Smythe doesn't doubt himself. And besides, would Rachel really offer to introduce the two men if Kurt was entirely off limits?

Sebastian shuts the cover of his laptop and walks up to Rachel who is still glaring at him from behind the counter.

"Can I get anoth-," Sebastian starts before being quickly interrupted.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rachel stage whispers. "Are you seriously going to blow your chance _again_? This is the perfect opportunity!"

Sebastian puts his hands up, defending himself. "Woah. Okay, first of all, I didn't even notice he came in until now. Second of all, what does it matter to you? You seem oddly invested in this whole thing considering we're all practically strangers."

Rachel rolls her eyes, huffing and crossing her arms. "I just…I don't know, okay? I just want Kurt to be happy and sometimes he just needs a little push for that to happen."

"And you think that I'm going to make him happy?" Sebastian asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Probably not." Rachel scoffs. "But we both know you're attractive." Sebastian smirks and Rachel rolls her eyes again and shrugs. "Kurt just needs something to take his mind off of things for a while. He doesn't have time to meet people on his own so that's what I'm here for."

"You're here to help your roommate find some kind of fuck buddy?"

"No!" Rachel huffs indignantly. "Just…something to make him forget about work once in a while. He needs something enjoyable in his life."

Sebastian smirks smugly and leans against the counter. "Oh believe me, he'd enjoy it."

Rachel laughs shortly, "Kurt and I, we're romantics. We aren't really into the whole 'one night stand' thing. But maybe that's what he needs right now. Something no stress and just easy. I don't know." She groans, rubbing her temples. "I really don't know what I'm doing. At first I thought this was a good idea but maybe it's not. Maybe we should just forget about this whole thing."

"Oh, no you don't," Sebastian starts. "Nope, I am going over there and introducing myself tonight."

Sebastian sighs when he sees Rachel's worried look and tries again. "I'm not just trying to get in his pants, ya know." Rachel raises an eyebrow skeptically and Sebastian chuckles. "Okay, okay, I wouldn't turn the opportunity down. I'm not adverse to a mindless fuck once in a while, but I'm not just a heartless asshole. I just wanna get to know him."

Rachel worries her bottom lip with her teeth and turns to start making an order. "Fine. Just…can you leave me out of it for now? I don't want to be responsible if you break his heart."

"You'd be kind of responsible whether I told him or not." Sebastian scoffs but backtracks when he sees Rachel look over her shoulder to scowl at him. "But I'm not going to break his heart or whatever. I'm just introducing myself. It's not like we're going to fall in love or anything."

"Okay," Rachel sighs, handing him two coffees. "Whatever. Do what you want."

Sebastian looks between Rachel and the two coffees questioningly. "One for you and one for Kurt. It's on the house. God knows I'll probably be making up for this for _years_."

"Thanks for the bout of confidence, " says Sebastian, turning away from the counter. "I'm not trying to steal his virtue or anything."

"Yeah, yeah. Just go introduce yourself," Rachel says as she shoos him away.

Sebastian is lost in his thoughts as he makes his way towards Kurt's table, a smooth greeting forming in his mind. He's lost in his thoughts enough that he doesn't notice Kurt start to get up and gather his things until he's literally running into him, pouring hot coffee all down the front of the man and hears a shriek that finally pulls his attention back.

"Oh. My. God. I am so sorry."

* * *

**A/N: I am so so sorry this has taken me so long to get up. Excuses are futile but I started this while I was on vacation visiting my best friend and I am now back home and have to deal with real life. So again, I'm sorry and I will try to update sooner but I make no promises. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! It is greatly appreciated, you have no idea.**


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